Change from Within

It has always been my personal and profession passion to help effect change in others and in the world. The change I work towards is mostly external, helping and serving others. I find myself asking question like, "How can I change the system?" or "How can the world be different?" It sounds very lofty and altruistic. I'm beginning, however, to challenge myself to see how this type of journey can be pretty cowardly.

The more difficult journey is to be willing to admit when change needs to occur from within. To look at the lives we are leading and commit ourselves to change. That life change can take the form of making amends or it can mean requiring a fresh start for ourselves...more often it requires both.

And so I will begin.

World Premiere of Redlight Illuminates the Atrocities of Human Trafficking

On Monday I had the great fortune of attending the world premiere of Redlight in New York City. A documentary more than four years in the making, Redlight focuses on the survivors of human trafficking and the heroes who are fighting for justice for all children.

One of the women who was featured in the film is Mu Sochua. She is the opposition party leader in Cambodia and is a tireless fighter for the poor and vulnerable. For that, she is not celebrated but in constant fear of house arrest. She made a wonderful challenge to those there Monday evening: although we focus on the trials of one country, trafficking happens in every country. Human trafficking is the third largest criminal business and the fastest growing.

Attention and funding needs to come to the problems of human trafficking. Companies such as LexisNexis (fervent partners in the face against human trafficking) are uniquely positioned to be leaders in the new frontier against trafficking. We need laws to be changed--only 2 states have laws that protect children from being charged for prostitution. We need rescue and rehabilitation centers that provide real vocational and educational options for survivors. We need awareness, action and advocacy. Monday night gave me the hope to keep fighting for it!

Happy Father's Day

We don't do anything alone. We are formed by those who raise us and we are influenced by those around us. I am thankful everyday that the father of my children, Chris, is a man who not only rises to the challenges of parenthood, but exceeds at it and relishes in it. Simply put, there is no better dad for my three sons.

In the last three months when I had to leave home to begin my new job in the town to which we were relocating, Chris stayed behind, worked full time and took care of the boys. He checked homework, he cooked meals, he coached Little League. My boys know that he is a rock, the one who makes them laugh, tends to their needs and the model for being a good man.

Happy Father's Day, Chris.

Resilience

Every week I sit across from a parent, a relative, a foster mom or social worker who wonders aloud if the child they are caring for will recover from the physical or sexual abuse they have experienced. It is a tag line of mine to parents and caregivers that "children are resilient." I don't think I could do my job if I didn't truly believe that children could recover from the horrible things that adults do to them. Still, I am amazed and humbled when I see evidence of it in its many forms. So what does relilience look like? We often think of resilience as the end result of a fully "healed" child. It is present, however, even in the midst of their deepest struggle.

Resilience is the teenager who spends an entire session...or many sessions...in stoney silence with arms crossed. The message I take from her is, "I know how to set my boundaries with you even though I've never been safe enough to set boundaries before." I might be the first person in a long time who has taken her "NO" at face value and honored it.

Resilience is in the child who comes to my therapy session with a picture for me that says, "I am happy on Tuesdays because I see my counselor." What I read when I see this picture is a little boy who is saying, "I've decided trust someone again, even though it has cost me dearly in the past." He has given me the opportunity to teach him how to trust and still protect himself in the future.

Resilience is the little girl who pretends she is a superhero when she hears her parents fighting. She is telling me, "I know there is a better place inside of me to wait out this storm." I will get the opportunity to show her that she won't always have to hide the depths of her imagination to feel secure.

Resilience is the adolescent boy who says, "I've been angry for 8 years, but I can't let it out yet because it would all just explode". Even in his hesitation, he has given acknowledgement to his emotion. It will be my wish to show him that his anger is justifiable.

Resilience is every child who sits across from me and dares to share the secret of their hurt.

Right Here, Right Now

When I speak to people about human trafficking, the assumption is that it occurs somewhere "over there"--across the ocean, on some third world continent, among the poor and deviant. This assumption is not just made among "lay people", but made by mental health service providers, social service workers, and law enforcement as well. I cannot say loudly enough that it is happening RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW. It is happening in the same shopping plaza you go to drop off your dry cleaning. It is happening on the same website where you look for your next apartment or job. It is happening in the homes and businesses in neighborhoods with manicured lawns. It is happening.

Here is the mirror I am holding up for us to all look into: Sex Trafficking in Rural SD. Even in remote, rural South Dakota sex trafficking has found its hold. Events like the Sturgis Motorcycle Rally and the upcoming hunting season bring in millions of dollars to the state in the sprin and summer. However, it also brings the opportunity for criminal organizations to set up shop for the thousands of men descending on the state.

http://www.keloland.com/News/NewsDetail6371.cfm?Id=100246

International Women's Day- LET'S DO SOMETHING!

Today is International Women's Day. In honor of this day, I want to highlight an organization that embodies the action required to empower women: Women for Women International. The common denominator among the organizations I support is their commitment to moving past "awareness" and pushing for "ACTION". Not just action on behalf of women or marginalized people, but action from those people. When we empower the marginalized, they are able to transcend victim/ survivor status and move on to become active citizens and change makers for others.Women for Women International believes, as I do, that if we give women access to knowledge and expression of voice along with access to and control of resources that THEY will affect lasting social and political change in their communities.

For many of women in "first world" countries (myself included), the fight for equality means breaking a glass ceiling. In developing world countries, the fight is for access to electricity and water, education and medical care. The fight is for freedom from the violence of rape, genital mutilation, forced marriage, extreme poverty and starvation. I'm not saying that the fight is an either/or battle. Break that glass ceiling, but in the process remember that there are women...millions of women...who aren't yet even in the building; they are still standing outside the door of opportunity. Remember them and find ways to push that door open.

What can you do? How can you help give voice to the voiceless? Be their audience and their witness. Advocate for them while they are learning to speak with their own voice. How can you provide access to knowledge? There are many organizations committed to the education of women in developing countries. Support them; it takes less than you might imagine. How can you help them gain access to resources and control of their own lives? Make your own powerful voice be heard by our leaders in State Department and government at large. Let them know that the status of women worldwide impacts us here at home. Countries who have the worst reputation for human rights violations against women and children are also the countries who are the biggest threats to the United States in terms of terrorism and military conflict. Lifting the status of women in those countries should be a high priority in the fight against terrorism.

What will your impact be today...and tomorrow...and the day after? You are needed!

Asking.

In August of 2009, I began talks with the executive director of Transitions Global, James Pond, about bringing compassion fatigue relief training to his staff in Cambodia in August 2010. Because I believe so strongly in the need for secondary trauma care and feel so passionately about the fight against sexual slavery, I offered these services completely pro bono.
What I am not able to cover is my own travel expenses (roughly $2,000). I am hoping that I can find 100 friends to donate $20. I would also be interested in locating a corporation or group willing to sponsor my work. In the Greater DC region, I am available to come to your organization or company to speak about this issue so you may learn more about compassion fatigue and the issue of human trafficking.
To donate to this effort, follow the Donate link to the right of this article.